Smooooth.

David Matthews

EOG Enthusiast
When I get a young lady to come home with me, I like to wear suit pants, dark socks, and a necktie with no shirt on. I press a button and my bed unfolds out of my wall, and Barry White music starts playing. I like to mix martinis for my lady guests, but sometimes when I drop the olives in the glass, I miss and the olives drop to the floor. SMOOOOTH.

Any advice on how I can improve my game?
 
X

xpanda

Guest
David, the only advice I can give is that you ensure your dark suit pants are a rich red velvet, and maybe replace the tie with an ascot. You could also consider slicking your hair back with Brylcream and replacing the black socks with white socks. Or maybe lose the socks altogether.


Good luck!
 
David,

Replacing BARRY WHITE with FRANK SINATRA would be a VERY GOOD START...

You'll Never know (SHHEESH!!!!) vs MY WAY (HOME RUN)

One of my Favorite Songs in the Whole Wide World...

MY WAY- Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I?ll say it clear,
I?ll state my case, of which I?m certain.

I?ve lived a life that?s full.
I?ve traveled each and ev?ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I?ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I?m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I?ve loved, I?ve laughed and cried.
I?ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!



THE SHRINK
 
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