Tonight.....live from San Jose, Costa Rica....EOG is proud to present the first annual "Kelly" awards honoring the best and worst posters from the past year. Each recipient will be given the coveted "Kelly" gold statue.....a likeness of John Kelly with a basketball in his left hand...... and his right hand extended to offer a fist bump to the winner. Without further adieu, let's get right to the presentations.
BEST GROUP DISCUSSION The Hockey Guys
Sharky99, NeverAgain, Bushay and the boys provide the template for what a sports gambling website should be. Outstanding analysis, good betting information, and spirited discussions that offer interesting opinions. Since most posters at EOG don't know their head from their ass about hockey, this thread enables them to follow and bet on games they would ordinarily pass on......and actually do a fair amount of winning in the process.
POSTER YOU MOST WANT TO HAVE A BEER WITH Almost Alright
Good guy with a keen sense of humor who can make you laugh, or slice you into a hundred pieces. If you're having dinner with three other EOG posters at the table, AA is a "must invite." Just don't show up wearing Maize and Blue.
MOST SCHIZOPHRENIC POSTER Boston Massacre
His comments on sports are good....interesting and well thought out.....BUT THEN HE STARTS TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS, AND THE ANGER AND INDUSTRIAL BULLSHIT START TO FLOW. EVERYBODY WHO DISAGREES WITH HIM EITHER HAS NO BALLS OR THEY ARE A COMMUNIST.
Whatever.
MOST INFORMATIVE POSTER Valuist
A must read for baseball information.
MOST VERSATILE POSTER Kane
Whether he is providing good sports commentary, making smart bets, or taking on eight MAGA posters at one time (and kicking their ass with facts), Kane is a good read on any subject he engages in.
TOO MUCH INFORMATION Winkyduck
We know everything this guy is thinking. His sexual proclivities, the sister he beat up years ago, his struggle against cancer, his 100% certain plays that always seem to look good until the game starts.......and on and on and on. If anybody at EOG ever needed a girlfriend, it is this guy. Really.....it is OK in life to have a thought that doesn't get mentioned on line.
BEST FAN BOY John Kelly
Dazzled by his trips to Computer Bob's home at Square-A-Lago in the High Sierras, and impressed by every CB utterance, JK has that proverbial man crush going. Memo to Johnny Vanilla.....it's OK to bend a knee......just not both of them.
BEST FORMER POSTER OSU Cowboy
WORST FORMER POSTER (TIE)......Javy Baez and Big Runner
POSTER WE'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE FROM Skinny
BEST BOOKKEEPER Computer Bob
Whether he's telling you the record of Grand Challenge participants for the second week of February in odd years since 2011, or how many hairs Fezzik has up his ass, this guy reveres numbers. Yeah, he can be a smug, condescending know-it-all, but he is the master of keeping records here at EOG. You might think that a guy that smart might use his talents on something more substantial, but that's between him and his psychiatrist.
WORST BOOKKEEPER Tony Mar
When he is winning, he is mini-me to Computer Bob. When he's losing......."record?.....what record?" The classic case was last summer in his baseball plays thread. Up roughly 5 grand at the beginning of August, his record never appeared again for the rest of the season. Mainly because he was losing nearly 21 grand in those last two months.
DUMBEST POSTER Wade***
***The whole Wade persona might just be an act.
If it is..... he is very, very good...... We're talking "Forest Gump" good.
"Please Mr. Kelly, let this guy do the Grand Challenge every July from now on."
BIGGEST RUNNING JOKE SSI
Some of his threads last a day....some last a week. But they all go into the toilet eventually.
If you are bird watcher, the Falcon is not the one to watch.
And as for the good Doctor's systems, they generally result in euthanasia for the patient.
BIGGEST CHEATER IN GETTING A GOOD LINE Jason621
Sure......Railbird cheats like nobody's business....and revels in it. But what good is cheating if you get caught every time?
Jason, meanwhile, is slick as shit. He usually posts his play in the morning just after the opening line gets attacked at betting sites. He will pick out a game that moves anywhere from 1-2 points, and then list a play with the original line that was there moments before, constantly getting the best of it. The real mystery is why he is ONLY up 23 units doing this.
BEST MEDICAL ADVICE ON THE PANDEMIC The MAGA crowd at EOG
Forget the CDC, WHO, Dr. Fauci, and all the scientists who have spent a lifetime studying health pandemics. We have Dr. Dell Dude, Dr. Merlin, Dr. Howid, and Dr. Railbird.
Keep those medical insurance premiums paid up to date, because what could go wrong with the advice that these guys give.
BEST OWNER The Shrink
Sure......he welched on his last bet in dramatic fashion. And yes, he might be in the Witness Protection Program living the high life in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. But this guy was fun.....always quick to pick up a dinner tab or talk to any number of posters on the phone or in person. A real hands-on kind of owner.
WORST OWNER "1"
This fucker doesn't even have a name......just a number. A real Mr. Personality.
WORST PLACE TO LIVE Orange County, California
Imagine you're an alien (from outer space.....not Mexico). You've heard that Orange County is a garden spot.....perfect weather, beautiful women, fantastic beaches. You land the mother ship, open the hatch, and walk out......and the first people you meet are Railbird and Winky. Holy Shit! How quick are you getting back in the capsule and revving up the engines to get the hell out of there?
WORST NAMED THREAD EOG's Best Bet thread
It's Best "BET" (singular.....that means ONE play.....not a bonus play if you lose the first one......not a triple play if you're in the mood. Not a play today....one for tomorrow afternoon.....one for Sunday.....and four futures plays.
Just ONE play.
BEST QUOTE Almost Alright
Commenting on former poster, Journeyman: "Reading his posts made me bleed internally.
BEST QUOTE (Part 2) Bushay
Commenting on a video posted by Railbird: "My God...... he (Railbird) looks like the offspring of if Trump fucked a depressed cocker spaniel."
POSTER WHO WE WISH HAD A REGULAR BLOG Arne Lange
If you have read his stuff, you know exactly why.
POSTER WHO TOOK A POWDER Game Bred
First, his MAGA god got crushed by Sleepy Joe. Then, his Lakers didn't even make the playoffs. Then he disappeared, hopefully taking that "creepy kid" logo with him.
MACHINE GUN POSTING Dell Dude
The Dude posts like an 11-year old kid who has just learned how to masturbate. Constantly......incessantly...... all over the place. It is not unusual for him to take over the Best Bet Thread with 10-12 posts in a row. Some people love him.....some wish he would just go back to being Crissy across the street.
WORST BETTOR Jimmy the Greek
It's not easy to be this bad.....for this long. (Memo to EOG posters: Please cut him some slack.....just let him suck in peace).
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD Railbird
What can be said about this guy that hasn't been said already? Past poster, racist, anti-semitic, anti-Catholic, anti-Muslum, homophobic, un-Christ-like, douchebag, piece of shit etc. etc. etc. EOG must be proud to have him as the face of the franchise.
During slow times, he can be counted on to increase the number of hits in any thread he appears in.
It is not easy being the Bird.....he exposes himself to tremendous abuse and ridicule. It is hard being the ultimate Red State guy while living in the ultimate Blue State. It is hard being a Christian Fundamentalist and not living by the teachings of Jesus Christ. And it's hard knowing you are going to die, and that the Rapture won't be pulling your ass out of the fire (literally).
It's not easy to be a scumbag day in and day out. But the Bird perseveres. For that, he deserves special recognition.
Well that's it.....thanks for attending this award show, and hope to see you all back here next year!
BEST GROUP DISCUSSION The Hockey Guys
Sharky99, NeverAgain, Bushay and the boys provide the template for what a sports gambling website should be. Outstanding analysis, good betting information, and spirited discussions that offer interesting opinions. Since most posters at EOG don't know their head from their ass about hockey, this thread enables them to follow and bet on games they would ordinarily pass on......and actually do a fair amount of winning in the process.
POSTER YOU MOST WANT TO HAVE A BEER WITH Almost Alright
Good guy with a keen sense of humor who can make you laugh, or slice you into a hundred pieces. If you're having dinner with three other EOG posters at the table, AA is a "must invite." Just don't show up wearing Maize and Blue.
MOST SCHIZOPHRENIC POSTER Boston Massacre
His comments on sports are good....interesting and well thought out.....BUT THEN HE STARTS TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS, AND THE ANGER AND INDUSTRIAL BULLSHIT START TO FLOW. EVERYBODY WHO DISAGREES WITH HIM EITHER HAS NO BALLS OR THEY ARE A COMMUNIST.
Whatever.
MOST INFORMATIVE POSTER Valuist
A must read for baseball information.
MOST VERSATILE POSTER Kane
Whether he is providing good sports commentary, making smart bets, or taking on eight MAGA posters at one time (and kicking their ass with facts), Kane is a good read on any subject he engages in.
TOO MUCH INFORMATION Winkyduck
We know everything this guy is thinking. His sexual proclivities, the sister he beat up years ago, his struggle against cancer, his 100% certain plays that always seem to look good until the game starts.......and on and on and on. If anybody at EOG ever needed a girlfriend, it is this guy. Really.....it is OK in life to have a thought that doesn't get mentioned on line.
BEST FAN BOY John Kelly
Dazzled by his trips to Computer Bob's home at Square-A-Lago in the High Sierras, and impressed by every CB utterance, JK has that proverbial man crush going. Memo to Johnny Vanilla.....it's OK to bend a knee......just not both of them.
BEST FORMER POSTER OSU Cowboy
WORST FORMER POSTER (TIE)......Javy Baez and Big Runner
POSTER WE'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE FROM Skinny
BEST BOOKKEEPER Computer Bob
Whether he's telling you the record of Grand Challenge participants for the second week of February in odd years since 2011, or how many hairs Fezzik has up his ass, this guy reveres numbers. Yeah, he can be a smug, condescending know-it-all, but he is the master of keeping records here at EOG. You might think that a guy that smart might use his talents on something more substantial, but that's between him and his psychiatrist.
WORST BOOKKEEPER Tony Mar
When he is winning, he is mini-me to Computer Bob. When he's losing......."record?.....what record?" The classic case was last summer in his baseball plays thread. Up roughly 5 grand at the beginning of August, his record never appeared again for the rest of the season. Mainly because he was losing nearly 21 grand in those last two months.
DUMBEST POSTER Wade***
***The whole Wade persona might just be an act.
If it is..... he is very, very good...... We're talking "Forest Gump" good.
"Please Mr. Kelly, let this guy do the Grand Challenge every July from now on."
BIGGEST RUNNING JOKE SSI
Some of his threads last a day....some last a week. But they all go into the toilet eventually.
If you are bird watcher, the Falcon is not the one to watch.
And as for the good Doctor's systems, they generally result in euthanasia for the patient.
BIGGEST CHEATER IN GETTING A GOOD LINE Jason621
Sure......Railbird cheats like nobody's business....and revels in it. But what good is cheating if you get caught every time?
Jason, meanwhile, is slick as shit. He usually posts his play in the morning just after the opening line gets attacked at betting sites. He will pick out a game that moves anywhere from 1-2 points, and then list a play with the original line that was there moments before, constantly getting the best of it. The real mystery is why he is ONLY up 23 units doing this.
BEST MEDICAL ADVICE ON THE PANDEMIC The MAGA crowd at EOG
Forget the CDC, WHO, Dr. Fauci, and all the scientists who have spent a lifetime studying health pandemics. We have Dr. Dell Dude, Dr. Merlin, Dr. Howid, and Dr. Railbird.
Keep those medical insurance premiums paid up to date, because what could go wrong with the advice that these guys give.
BEST OWNER The Shrink
Sure......he welched on his last bet in dramatic fashion. And yes, he might be in the Witness Protection Program living the high life in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. But this guy was fun.....always quick to pick up a dinner tab or talk to any number of posters on the phone or in person. A real hands-on kind of owner.
WORST OWNER "1"
This fucker doesn't even have a name......just a number. A real Mr. Personality.
WORST PLACE TO LIVE Orange County, California
Imagine you're an alien (from outer space.....not Mexico). You've heard that Orange County is a garden spot.....perfect weather, beautiful women, fantastic beaches. You land the mother ship, open the hatch, and walk out......and the first people you meet are Railbird and Winky. Holy Shit! How quick are you getting back in the capsule and revving up the engines to get the hell out of there?
WORST NAMED THREAD EOG's Best Bet thread
It's Best "BET" (singular.....that means ONE play.....not a bonus play if you lose the first one......not a triple play if you're in the mood. Not a play today....one for tomorrow afternoon.....one for Sunday.....and four futures plays.
Just ONE play.
BEST QUOTE Almost Alright
Commenting on former poster, Journeyman: "Reading his posts made me bleed internally.
BEST QUOTE (Part 2) Bushay
Commenting on a video posted by Railbird: "My God...... he (Railbird) looks like the offspring of if Trump fucked a depressed cocker spaniel."
POSTER WHO WE WISH HAD A REGULAR BLOG Arne Lange
If you have read his stuff, you know exactly why.
POSTER WHO TOOK A POWDER Game Bred
First, his MAGA god got crushed by Sleepy Joe. Then, his Lakers didn't even make the playoffs. Then he disappeared, hopefully taking that "creepy kid" logo with him.
MACHINE GUN POSTING Dell Dude
The Dude posts like an 11-year old kid who has just learned how to masturbate. Constantly......incessantly...... all over the place. It is not unusual for him to take over the Best Bet Thread with 10-12 posts in a row. Some people love him.....some wish he would just go back to being Crissy across the street.
WORST BETTOR Jimmy the Greek
It's not easy to be this bad.....for this long. (Memo to EOG posters: Please cut him some slack.....just let him suck in peace).
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD Railbird
What can be said about this guy that hasn't been said already? Past poster, racist, anti-semitic, anti-Catholic, anti-Muslum, homophobic, un-Christ-like, douchebag, piece of shit etc. etc. etc. EOG must be proud to have him as the face of the franchise.
During slow times, he can be counted on to increase the number of hits in any thread he appears in.
It is not easy being the Bird.....he exposes himself to tremendous abuse and ridicule. It is hard being the ultimate Red State guy while living in the ultimate Blue State. It is hard being a Christian Fundamentalist and not living by the teachings of Jesus Christ. And it's hard knowing you are going to die, and that the Rapture won't be pulling your ass out of the fire (literally).
It's not easy to be a scumbag day in and day out. But the Bird perseveres. For that, he deserves special recognition.
Well that's it.....thanks for attending this award show, and hope to see you all back here next year!
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